Monday, August 24, 2009

How I Spent My Summer Vacation




Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, animals both domesticated and wild, welcome to yesterday's future ... or tomorrow's past ... whichever you prefer.

With all this rain, I wonder how students going back to school will be writing essays on how they spent their summer vacations. Mine would go something like this....

The summer sun gave me a big high-five as I got off the bus for the last time this school year. No more teachers, no more books, just me and my friend Mister Sunshine for two whole months....

Well June was a wash ... literally. All's I got to show for it was a new umbrella and a rain coat.

That's OK, the weatherman says after Independence Day summer will really begin. Me and you, Mister Sunshine, are gonna get to know each other real well....




So much for July. No biggie, I still got most of August to go. There's no way the rain can keep up like this. I got big plans too. There's canoeing at the lake and fishing with my Dad and camping by the river ... and plenty of time to sit lazily by the pool. This summer is not lost yet, or so says the trusty weatherman....






MOTHERFUC*** I'm as pale as a FU****** GHOST! I don't even remember what the DAMN sun looks like! The weatherman's a Demon Spawn from Hell! I can't believe that bastard has the nerve to smile while he's flat out lying about the forecast. Does he kiss his family with that wretched mouth!

I still got two weeks before school starts. I'm gonna enjoy this summer of it kills me....




Screw it ... I give up.


Later Fiends,

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